Plan B: A Conundrum

I’ve been reading, yesterday and today, about the controversy over the decision to not allow women under seventeen unrestricted access to emergency contraception. I understand that it’s controversial; hell, I even understand why. But some of what people out there are saying is just plain silly and uninformed.

What I’m reading on Facebook and Twitter and in comments at the end of articles (which I hate reading because comments are usually posted by the most insane demographic of Western inhumanity), there is a disproportionate amount of worry over eleven-and-twelve-year-old girls having access to EC while largely ignoring the populace most likely to use it: fifteen-and-sixteen-year-olds. The fact of the matter is that I don’t know what would happen to younger adolescents if they had access to EC, but I’m going to guess not a whole helluva lot. (Stay tuned) Frankly, I think that overlooking the young women who can benefit from it in favor of younger kids who are less likely to is absurd and careless.

There’s a great deal of “where are the parents” discussion, which is understandable. As a ‘teen mom’ myself, I had access to all the information in the world and a mom who was willing to help me take responsibility for my reproductive health and I made the conscious choice to blow it off and ignore what I knew. I did not want to talk to my mom about my sex life and was too nervous about all the rest of the uncertainty. It seemed to put everyone off our lunch, so I tried to avoid the subject. I don’t have to tell you how that turned out: she’s fourteen, I’m thirty-two. Our birthdays are two weeks apart. I'll leave you to do the math.

There are a lot of folks out there who say that they would talk to their kids, or that they do, and so their kids would never need EC. I say that’s great that you talk to your kids. I talk to mine, too, and have been since she was uncomfortably young. However, you can’t put a chastity belt on your young’uns. At some point they are responsible for their own choices, and our well-intentioned teachings become whatever. Talking is not enough, and sometimes the choices young people make are bound to be shitty ones. Come on, now. We’ve all made them. I know plenty of smart women who got pregnant in their twenties and thirties by being totally irresponsible. Kids don’t have the corner on bad decision-making, but our society sure likes to treat them like they do. The fact of the matter is that some kids who have sex are going to have had crappy parents, and some are not, but to assume that all young girls who get pregnant are somehow lacking in parental support is such an overextending assumption. Almost any sexually active young woman can get pregnant. An unintended pregnancy does not make a young woman uninformed, or unsupported. “Where were her parents??” Perhaps they were allowing the girl some autonomy and the opportunity to make her own decisions in life?? Please. A young girl’s pregnancy is difficult enough without your judgment. But thank you.

There are people who are concerned about what EC could do to a child as young as eleven. I’m on board with this, and I think it’s safe to say that if a child that young needed EC every one of us would hope that she is getting the help and support that she obviously needs. But just because it’s available, does that mean young kids are going to buy it and take it out of curiosity?? Because I’ve heard it suggested. I’d think they’d be more likely to reach for the Dramamine or the No-Doz, both of which I see readily accessible on drug store and gas station shelves in my neighborhood for under $10. Plan B One Step, for example, is not cheap. That’s another thing about EC: it’s expensive. Even if the costs were to go down if it were available OTC, I cannot imagine that it would suddenly become so inexpensive that a young person would pay for it when there are so many more fun and less spendy drug things to play with on the store shelves. I know eleven-year-olds who have disposable access to money, but not only are they the exception they would all be more likely to blow their $100 wad on iTunes or Starbucks. Just an observation, but when my kid leaves the house with $100 and comes home four hours later, broke, she’s buzzed on Frappuccinos and carrying shopping bags from Forever 21. We all want kids to be safe.

Shoot, kids can buy acetaminophen. A twelve-year-old could buy it and kill themselves by taking the whole bottle. We don’t put that behind the pharmacy counter, even though people can very easily die from it. I don’t know about y’all, but I’d heard of Tylenol poisoning by the time I was twelve. I had friends who slammed diet pills and diuretics by then, and they’re still available for purchase by young people. I think some of us might be looking a bit too closely at one thing right now.

Another concern that I’ve been reading about is that child molesters might encourage girls to take EC after raping them. On one hand, of course that’s horrifying. I’m pretty damn sure we can agree on that. On the other, is that child’s not getting pregnant with a rape baby somehow a bad thing?? Rapists and child molesters are going to do what they do until you and I and law enforcement and government and spirituality and social responsibility and biology itself can somehow abolish rape and child molestation. If my own child were molested, I would damn skippy encourage her to take Plan B. When grown women I know have been raped, I’ve encouraged them to do so, as well. We live in a society where women are allowed to make these choices for ourselves. This right has been in dispute for much longer than I’ve been alive to document it, but still it’s ours. Young women should be no exception. Rapists use condoms to cover their tracks. I get that there is a measure of society that believes we should restrict the distribution of condoms to young people, but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with rape. Without meandering too far from the subject matter, though, that neglects the fact that sex is biological and when young people’s bodies are becoming all grown-up-like that hormonal changes are going to make them think about, and sometimes have sex whether culture says no or not. But that’s another subject for another time. Blaming the availability of contraception for any form of rape does not excuse, forgive, or otherwise legitimize the act. As long as there are predators in our neighborhoods who sexually denigrate women and girls, they’re going to find ways to manipulate their victims and cover their tracks. In the case of condoms and EC, they could also be doing the people they attack a favor (for lack of a more suitably harrowing way of putting it) by not spreading an STI or getting a victim pregnant and forcing them to make a choice that wasn’t theirs to begin with.

One individual said “you don’t know what this drug does.” Yes, I do. I’ve taken it twice. Once when I went too long between Depo shots (I was engaged to be married at the time) and once after a tragic condom mishap followed by the realization that I’d missed my BC pill for two days. I have sex sometimes, and I do my best to be smart about it. As with any medication, side effects are different for different people. Women I know have had them. I haven’t. I’m grateful for the options, like EC, that I have, and I would not wish to take them away from another woman if she felt like she needed them, no matter how young. But I do know what the drug does. Please do not assume that a woman who supports EC does not.

May I throw in a moment of slut-shaming?? Because there does seem to be a great deal of the humiliation of women, especially young women, who have sex and don’t hide it nicely. Especially when they get pregnant. I think Juno said it best when she said “you don’t have the evidence under your sweater,” or something to that effect. This is a phenomenon men don’t experience. Assuming that a young woman who gets pregnant is a slut, regardless of how she became that way, is nothing new. There still seems to be a great deal of “you did this to yourself” out there, which absolves boys of their responsibility and puts girls squarely in the slut seat. This is insane and unjust and the attitude needs to stop. It’s not going to any time soon, I understand, but forcing a girl to be pregnant against her will, when she could have chosen otherwise on her own, is fucked up regardless of how she came into the state of being.

Anyway. I’m still going to continue to be of the school of thought that all people must be educated about sex. Abstinence -only education for young people has proven itself ineffective. Blocking the availability of EC to younger women does not block the need or desire for it, but I do see why people are concerned.

The bottom line, to me, is that if we’re going to regulate every single thing that makes society uncomfortable, like the sexuality of young people, we might as well not leave the house. Don’t fly on the airlines because of terrorism, don’t go to ballgames because you might get hit with something and die, and for fuck’s sake, do not take anything that wasn’t successfully sheltered behind the pharmacist’s counter.