Why I'm Not a Grammar Nazi Anymore

I used to be one of those Grammar Nazis. I had no patience for what appeared to me to be other people’s stupidity and complete disregard for language. Eventually I realized that there were a few flaws in my logic and considerations to be made therein.

Now, most recently I’ve struggled with math. I mean, I have for years, but it’s only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. Most recently I managed to flunk out of college 3 credits away from receiving my Bachelor’s degree in communications because I can’t do algebra. And people don’t understand math illiteracy, and they can be unintentionally mean about it. People who are bad at math are treated like idiots. Hey, before I tanked my grades by doing poorly in math, I was getting mostly As and Bs. And it doesn’t seem to matter what I do, because I have access to resources and have had amazing rock star tutors and great teachers. But you put a problem in front of me and try to get me to remember which g.d. formula I need to use to solve it, you may as well be asking me to translate the Bhagavad Gita.

And so, through all my trials and tribulations of taking and failing college-level math an unprecedented nine times, it got me to thinking about people and writing. Are people who aren’t good at writing just automatically stupid?? I don’t like being treated like I’m stupid because I struggle with math, so why would I treat someone else badly because they struggle with writing??

I once got an email from a young woman who was working for me at the time, and I’ll be damned if the entire thing wasn’t in textese. I had to say to her, “sweets, I’m your boss. I love you and I love that we’re friends, too, but in a professional environment you should write like the educated young person you are.” She was not then, nor is she now, a stupid person. She was young and misjudged what would be appropriate. Some of the most intelligent people I’ve met are dyslexic, and as such they’re absolutely terrible at spelling and grammar. What, am I going to put them down and insult their intelligence because they forget which one is “there” and which is “their??” Hell no. That would be mean a.f. There was another woman I got to know in an online classroom who struggled with English a great deal, and I probably would have thought she was a complete dumbass if I didn’t know that English was her fifth language. Fifth!! Okay, she gets a pass for even being able to take, let alone do well in, college credits in her fifth language. Mistakes or no mistakes, my hat is off. We had a chuckle now and then over some of her sillier blunders, but it would be shitty of anyone to flat out make fun of her or put her on blast for being stupid. Just the fact that she speaks five languages proves she’s not stupid.

Sometimes it will drive me crazy when I’m in a class with someone who just comes across as clueless as to their mistakes. We all make typos, and that’s one thing. However, when you’re in a 400-level college course and haven’t figured out how to use spell check, you come across looking like an idiot. And I admit, I’ve made mistakes and made myself look like an idiot. None of us are immune. I’m a decent enough writer and I still can’t remember which one is “effect” and which is “affect.” I have to look it up every time. I think we all have our things, but do they really make us stupid??