I have had approximately enough of the Palin family in all its fame-whoring capacity. I feel sorry for Todd Palin who has, smartly, stayed out of the limelight, for the most part. I feel badly for him that he married an idiot and produced more little idiots, all of whom seem to want to be as famous as their mommy by any means necessary and without actually having to work ever.
Sarah Palin had a job in public service and the quit to be a tv star. And now she’s thinking about running for president?? Pardon my proverbial French, but fuck that shit!! I know I’m not alone in feeling like she abandoned the public whom she was sworn to serve as a governor; so why is she a qualified, adequate candidate for the presidency?? People don’t become president so that they can have their own t-shirts, bitch. Get that through your pageant-queen thick head. I’d rather vote for Vinny from Jersey Shore. He has a college degree and is good-looking. Like, aren’t those the qualifications??
This bitch is so dense she unapologetically makes up words when at a loss for one that actually exists. Okay, so we all make typos, we have all been at a loss for words and said the wrong thing, but to repeatedly, that means “over and over, on more than one occasion,” use the word “refudiate,” which carries whatever definition she wants it to at the time, and when called on the fact that no such word exists compares herself to Shakespeare, stating gleefully that she’s adding to the living language. Actually, Rain Woman, that’s why we have linguists and Jay-Z. AND, as of 2 days ago, Sarah Palin’s new idiot word, “refudiate,” has been awarded Word of the Year for 2010 by the New Oxford English Dictionary. Please, please, please stop talking, Mrs. Palin. You’re ruining the language for everyone else. Has anyone checked on Noam Chomsky?? Made sure her now-infamous babbling nonsense hasn’t caused him to put a gun in his mouth??
I feel sorry for Todd Palin that his grandson has half of Levi Johnston’s chromosomes because his daughter is not only a boyfriend-stealing, back-stabbing uber-wench who should have gotten her ass handed to her by that former friend of hers who had him first, and that she was too fuckin’ stupid to a) use birth control or b) abstain, like her supposedly-staunch Republican family told her to do. Her mother, as then-governor and one-time really-embarrassing-vice-presidential-candidate had a reputation to uphold. Had Mrs. Palin ever been at home to ingrain that in her child’s fat head, then perhaps we wouldn’t have little Twat, or whatever ridiculous knuckle-dragging hick name Bristol and Levi selected for their son.
Oh, and Levi; poor, long-suffering Levi. His mother and sister make the Clampetts look like the Royal Tenenbaums. Good lord, that boy never had a chance. I’m not even going to go there except to say that Kathy Griffin was the best thing that ever happened to that fuckup. Now he wants to be the mayor of Wasilla?? My ass. On Foursquare, perhaps.
I’m going to take a little aside, here, and acknowledge that just because Bristol Palin is a teen mom does not make her a bad person, in-and-of itself. I got knocked up when I was seventeen and chose to be a teen mom. What chaps my ass about her is that she’s never had a real job, and most likely never will. She won’t experience what it’s like to go on an interview for a position she’s grossly overqualified for just to have money for groceries and gasoline. What are the chances she’ll one day be selling her old shit on eBay so she’ll have money to buy her kid Christmas presents?? She’s completely out of touch with what it’s like to be a teen mom, or any kind of mom, in the real world having been supported by her rich-ass family the entire time her child has been alive. That is, until recently when she began giving “do as I say, not as I do” abstinence advocacy speeches to young people for $30,000 a pop. That’s someone’s annual salary. I’m sure that’s difficult for Miss Palin to grasp, since she’s never been asked to live for an entire year on that amount, and probably doesn’t even know what an annual salary is since she’s hired goons to do all her math for her. A real teen parent has to struggle, even if he or she does have the support of a family. Most people get jobs and toil for years to get through college. Most of us didn’t have a rich, famous family name to ride upon the coattails of so we could sit back and smile for the covers of magazines and tell everyone what a blessing everything is.
Honestly, if I were one of the Teen Moms of MTV I would be pissed that The Candies Foundation even placed them in the same category for their “The Harsh Truth: Teen Moms Tell All” special. I’m flabbergasted that anyone had the unmitigated gall to think that what Bristol Palin goes through on a daily basis is anything compared to what Maci, Amber, Farrah and Catelynn go through. Anyone with the audacity to even compare them does not know what they’re talking about, and frankly it’s insulting to all the hard work that the Teen Moms do. Yes, they get paid for being stars on MTV, but they don’t have rich mommies and daddies or come from famous families. They’re tv stars to raise awareness that teen pregnancy can happen to normal girls (which Bristol is far from) and to keep themselves from having to stand in line for government cheese, like the rest of us had to do. They’re making an investment in their futures and their children’s futures, and their lives are being improved by the money they get from MTV. When has Bristol Palin ever been hurting for money?? I beg you.
I’ve asked a few of my Rethuglican friends what it is about Sarah Palin, and thus far no one has been able to give me an answer that made any dang-ola sense. “She’s just a breath of fresh air” is an ambiguous statement that tells me nothing of why a person would jump on her political bandwagon. One especially disturbing individual said “um, she’s hot.” Yes. That is a good reason to vote for someone who will be representing the public and / or the nation. Some people think Jenna Jameson’s hot; don’t see why this might make her a qualified presidential candidate. However, she did beauty pageants when she was younger, too, and she runs her own business, which Sarah Palin has not, to my knowledge, ever done. So it could be argued that Jenna Jameson, who eats out, sucks off, fucks and fondles people (as well as herself) for a living, is more intelligent than Sarah Palin. Yet, still, I have not received an answer regarding why Mrs. Palin is a qualified candidate to be the PTA president at her kids’ elementary school, let alone the President of the United States. What gives??
I do feel strongly, however, that the mumbling muttonhead who told me he’d vote for Sarah Palin because she’s hot is onto something, because no one would give a damn about her if she were an ugly woman. If she weren’t attractive, no one would want her as the face of anything. Hillary Rodham Clinton is far more qualified to run this country than Sarah Palin is, yet so much of what people say about her is being critical of her looks. Frankly, I think that says a lot about our nation and how shallow we are as a people. The vast majority of Americans would rather have someone pretty to look at to distract us from the fact that our country is being flushed and going swirling in the wake of the second Bush Administration.
Let’s move on, shall we?? Now that Sarah and Bristol are reality tv stars and they have all the fame their little hearts could desire, we have the opportunity to hear from Willow Palin, the high-school sister who has yet to become famous for getting pregnant, shooting animals, being pretty or dancing on tv. This week she emerged from her mother and sister’s large shadow with a string of insults lobbed at a classmate who denounced her mother’s new television show on his own Facebook status. Willow jumped all over him, calling him “fat” and a “faggot” on her own update, calling him out by name. This would, in every other school in America, be called cyber-bullying and the person responsible for the slanderous verbal abuse would be in trouble with their school, but I digress. While I don’t know what action, if any, Willow’s school is taking, Bristol soon got her licks in calling him a “douchebag” and a “shit-talker.” Most normal parents would be embarrassed if their children were caught launching a direct, public verbal attack on someone, especially over something so trivial. The Palins, however, have come to the young ladies’ assist, adamantly maintaining that their girls don’t normally talk like that. Of course their parents think that. They’re too busy being rich and famous to know how their kids talk when they’re not around, which appears to be often. Anyone who thinks their high school kid doesn’t swear has their head so far up their ass they could talk out of their bellybutton.
While Willow is very young, and young people make mistakes and say the wrong thing, she should be held accountable for the way she chose to respond to this boy’s criticism. Bristol, on the other hand, is a grown woman and a mom, and she has no problem smack-talking a high school boy for not liking her mother’s tv show?? All he said was call it a “fail” and the Palin girls unleashed the fury. Why should they be allowed to behave like that?? If any of the rest of us went around verbally assaulting others just for being critical, especially if one perpetrator is an adult and the target is a child, we’d all be on probation right now. Then again, our last names aren’t all Palin, so we don’t get to just do whatever we want.
“Sorry that all you guys are jealous of my families success and you guys aren’t goin to go anywhere with your lives,” Miss Willow issues by way of apology, as if that weren’t the most narcissistic thing she could have possibly said. Spelling and grammatical errors aside, this child is so spoiled, so indulged and so egotistical that she honestly thinks that all the people in the world who don’t like her or her family are jealous. Isn’t constantly thinking that others are jealous of you a symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?? In this case it might just be a symptom of spoiled brat syndrome. Perhaps if the children heard the word “no” once or twice in their lives, or had been taught that other people are entitled to their opinions, too, then this kind of bitchy, inane childish outburst could have been avoided altogether. I do not understand why people who are in the public eye, who have chosen to be there (or in this case have had it chosen for them by a fame-mongering parent), get so upset when someone criticizes them at all. Here this gal is, getting upset over one person saying that her mom’s tv show was “a fail.” You’d think he called Mrs. Palin the devil’s personal harlot by the way she and Bristol reacted. You want to be famous, you’re going to have to deal with the fact that not everyone is going to like you, and that when you choose to put yourself in the spotlight you open yourself up to appraisal by others and that not all of what people think will be positive. If you only want to hear how fabulous you and your ego are, stay home and talk into your mirrors, because it’s a big world out there and not everyone is going to like you, or your family, or what you have to say, and no one can change that because we all are free to think whatever we want and say whatever we want to say. That is until we start reaming some random kid a new asshole for not like our mommy’s show. Then we’re crossing a line. However, the children of entitlement wouldn’t know a line if they tripped and fell down the rabbit hole crossing it. And that’s just bad parenting. My kid may act like a mewling brat sometimes, and so might I, but I refuse to stand back and make her excuses for her, or for myself. If she were to choose to run her mouth in such a fashion online, for all and sundry, I think I would have her back and try to help her learn better ways of handling such a situation in the future, but rest assured she would be expected to face the consequences for her actions. Alas, this is not about what I would do. It’s about what the Palins aren’t going to do, which is discipline the children.
This, dear reader, is why I believe that the Palin family are both dangerous and fucked up. They put on pretty smiles and pose for pictures, they talk a good game about love of family and God when, upon closer inspection they appear to have more love for fame and guns. They’re a pack of wild Alaskan hillbillies with the collective intelligence of a wolverine wearing lipstick, or whatever the idiotic allegory Sarah Palin made a few years ago was. It frightens me that people trust this family and believe that they are genuine, decent people. They scare the shit out of me, and not just because they have guns. If they were my neighbors, I’d move. It’s a popular maxim on reality tv shows for one person who doesn’t like another to call that person fake. Well, who’s more fake than the Palins?? And audiences eat it up with a spoon. Why are so many Americans too dense to see through the veneer of down-home appeal to see what they really are: silly, thoughtless, unintelligent fame-whores. Are we that stupid, or are we just too scared to think about how damaged our political system is that we’d rather watch pseudo-politicians do whatever it is Sarah Palin does and, their daughters dancing on tv??
* Alright, so I haven’t met every family in America, therefore it’s possible that there is a more fucked up and dangerous family out there somewhere. At least the ones who beat their babies to death for distracting them from FarmVille, or who kill and maim one another in fits of meth-induced rage are generally not famous and eventually caught and sent to jail where they belong. Meanwhile, the Palins are free to roam, to be abusive and tactless, to be dim and obtuse and have people applaud them for being a close family unit when they’re just as dysfunctional as Tonya Harding’s mother. If you’re not worried about them, then you’re not paying attention.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/30/levi-johnston-ex-lanesia_n_664897.html
http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_theticket/20101115/pl_yblog_theticket/almost-5-million-people-watched-sarah-palins-alaska
http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/d2JPq3CEm89/Harsh+Truth+Teen+Moms+Tell+Sposored+Candie/TdoOiq2EejW
http://www.politicususa.com/en/willow-palins-facebook-propaganda?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+politicususa%2FfJAl+%28Politicus+USA+%29&utm_content=Twitter
http://www.salon.com/news/politics/sarah_palin/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2010/11/17/willow_palin_facebook_rant
http://www.comedycentral.com/tosh.0/2010/11/17/palin-daughters-defend-moms-show-on-facebook/
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